Connection Not Found
Article by Hugo Blue
SAN ANTONIO—The world is anxious to know how a woman managed to survive after waiting four months for AT&T to provide internet service to her new home.
Lovie Newman endured what she calls “a complete nightmare” as each day passed in despair. Though she had scheduled an appointment well before moving in, AT&T stood her up, saying, it’s not you it’s me. When she tried to reschedule, into their cavernous bureaucracy she went, hopelessly redirected from department-743f to 956-h, catching only “we missed you” as way of an apology.
One can only speculate as to how she survived it all. Watching the same old DVDs on endless loops—she can recite the entire script of You’ve Got Mail—any longer and she may have been forced to start reading books.
It’s possible she received her daily news only by speaking to other people, or via newspapers—whatever those are—and had to actually articulate her feelings instead of meme dropping.
Eventually fed up with the grievous situation, Newman sought satisfaction by hiring some muscle. She contacted a local reporter.
The AT&T Office of the President, aka OOP, contacted Newman immediately upon hearing from the journo, probably out of fear of being cancelled, and soon, voila, wires were being installed on her street.
Newman will return to full internet service just as soon as she reschedules her appointment.
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