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February 8, 2025

The Edville Gazette: On Finally Getting What You Deserve

High-speed broadband comes to Edville— Yay!

Article by Edna Farmer

EDVILLE—Well now, I’ll be darned! For the last week or two you’ve likely noticed those huge spools of blue tubing sitting in the parking lot at the old South Cramahe Public School. Last I heard, the only people interested in repurposing that schoolhouse were shady big-city grow-oppers—and as everyone local to the area will remember, they were busted about ten minutes before that nice Mr. Trudeau legalized pot. The school is a sad and dilapidated eyesore now, which pains me. So I was hoping the blue piping was intended for some sort of irrigation system, or maybe a weeping tile—something to give the old place a new lease on life.

But no!

Last Wednesday I turned up my laneway and what did I see but two ruddy-faced, bearded lads in their little Tonka backhoes snaking the blue tubes all along the roadside and right up into my yard! Being as these young gents were suffering grievously in the heat, I offered them some lemonade (even though I could plainly see they were double-double men). And they let me take that photo (above), even though they were fully flummoxed as to how their digging and snaking could be of any interest to the press.

But to come round to the point, it turns out the blue tubes are fibre-optic cables. Can you imagine? Edville is finally pulling into the twenty-first century and getting high-speed broadband. And to judge from the proliferation of those little red Bell flags you see all over the place, we’re all of us going to get it—everyone!

So what does it all mean? Well, obviously the blue tubes of salvation have come too late for the pandemic, when the kids were trying to scratch out their classes online. So that’s unfortunate. Also, I’m also guessing all those people who hacked down their tall trees so they could connect with Elon Musk’s internet satellites are wishing they hadn’t, by golly.

But for the rest of us, this all comes as great news. When it comes to rural development schemes that actually improve people’s lives, well, better late than never.

Editor’s Note: An article from The Edville Gazette appears on News Now Network sites once a week. There is also a podcast for your listening delight https://anchor.fm/radiofreeedville.

#theedvillegazette, #humour, #edville

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