Canadian man alleged to have danced naked
Article by Edna Farmer
BALI—Well now, here’s a story likely to make you blush. A nice Canadian lad who calls himself a “mind-body healer” has been detained by Indonesian authorities on charges of making an “immoral video” at the sacred Mount Batur volcano site. If he’s found guilty, poor man, the word is he’ll be deported back to Canada, where he runs the risk of having to get a job.
The details are quite salacious and multicultural. The Canadian in question, Jeffrey Douglas Craigen, filmed himself doing a ceremonial Maori dance in the nude and then posted it to the internet. That turned out to be a big mistake because, as local human-rights prefect Jamaruli Manihuruk asserted after viewing the video, poor Jeff failed to “behave properly” and showed disrespect for “the cultural values of Balinese.”
So this being 2022 and Jeff being a kind-hearted and empathetic Vancouverite, he did what all Canadians are expected to do when they’re accused of cultural crimes. He made an 18-minute video of himself bawling like a toddler and apologizing for his transgressions. Actually, he looked a lot like that nice Mr. Trudeau apologizing for his blackface antics, come to think of it.
“My intention wasn’t to disrespect the Maori culture,” poor Jeff snivelled into the camera. “I didn’t even know the words that I was saying. I was just expressing what I was feeling. And I sincerely apologize to any hurt that I gave any Maori people.”
Now it’s been a long, long time since I took geography, by golly. But it occurs to me that since the Maoris live in New Zealand, and it was a Maori dance poor Jeff thought he was doing in Bali, it’s likely that more than one cultural crime has been perpetrated here, wouldn’t you say?
Global Affairs Canada has not responded to the Gazette’s request for comment, demonstrating how seriously the feds are taking this shameful incident. I wonder, though: has Interpol been contacted? I don’t want to sound conspiratorial or anything, but is it possible that Ottawa is working behind the scenes to prevent poor Jeff from being extradited to Auckland?
We’ll keep you posted.
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