Article by Shirley Stickle
BRIGHTON—Dearest gentle readers, I have been preposterously plunging into the depths of Bridgerton and I cannot fathom how I could have regaled in excitement before this delightful television programme gripped my britches and set me in stitches.
Now, I feel posher than ever and I wish to enthrall you in a soft, decadent account of my recent adventures as a celebrated and commemorated member of the Brighton Tornado Task Force, henceforth known as the “The Organization.”
My time with the esteemed organization began after my abrupt departure as tenured expert bear psychologist (The Bearapist! as denoted on my eggshell coloured calling cards) occurred on a rainy Tuesday evening. Unbeknownst to me, bears have a distinct fondness for Chanel 5 and it drove them to behave in a most peculiar and unsavory fashion. One can only promenade away from grizzly passions and lust for so long.
Now, my next quest takes me to the charming village of Brighton to join their legion of high-skilled and professional experts in detecting tornadoes and alerting the public before mayhem can ensue. Equipped with only our grit, wits, cellular devices and eyes, we scan the horizons, prepared to face danger at any moment. Without us, how else could the public sleep soundly, knowing their safety and virtue is well protected? We monitor the horizon so you, dear readers, may watch your televisions and neighbours knowing you’re safe from the unpredictable rage of mother nature.
Rest easy, gentle readers. To date, the only tornadoes we’ve encountered are those in delectable ice cream format from Reid’s Dairy. But we will remain vigilant. Ever present. And ever watching….*
Yours, Lady Shirley of Brightenton
(*Except for during business hours M t F, weekend mornings and every other Saturday afternoon while I have my nails done.)
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