December 5, 2023

The Edville Gazette: On Working From Home

D.I.Y. distraction proofing your work-from-home space

Article by Greg Mattinon

MONCTON—Oh, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the political toupee we all love to live, laugh, love with. This time, he’s showing a dear concern and calling for the people of England to find themselves in their offices to work, rather than in front of the fridge. “My experience of working from home,” says Boris, “is you spend an awful lot of time making another cup of coffee and then, you know, getting up, walking very slowly to the fridge, hacking off a small piece of cheese, then walking very slowly back to your laptop and then forgetting what it was you’re doing.”

First off, it’s never, and I mean never, hacking off a piece of single piece cheese. There’s just so much pure joy to be found by just unzipping a bag of Tex-Mix marble and choking it down like water in the desert.

Even so, let’s take a look at the pressing issue at hand. I mean, we all get a little distracted sometimes at work. Here’s how to distract-proof your home and get you ready to work!


1. Remove all other living creatures from the premises, including children, spouses, pets and especially in-laws.

2. Remove all electronics, include cell phones, laptops, TV, smoke detectors, lights, cameras, and air conditioners. Remember no distractions! Can’t have yourself getting up to adjust anything!

3. To complete your work in an effective environment, and to respect rule 2, perform all work on paper using an abacus for math and a pigeon for delivering messages to your head office.

4. Avoid the bathroom at all costs, you may be tempted to snack on the way back.

5. Under no circumstances should you ever check your cell phone. This could lead to searching up pictures of people enjoying coffee or cheese.

6. Keep post-its around your house reminding you to stay on target.

—Greg Mattinon, Focus Industries, Moncton, New Brunswick

Editor’s Note: An article from The Edville Gazette appears on News Now Network sites once a week. There is also a podcast for your listening delight

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